


The Five Love Languages

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Asexual Character, Childhood Friends, Coffee, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Emo dorks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hallucinations, Homophobia, Hot Topic - Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Maybe some non graphic sex??, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paranoia, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sequel, Smoking, Tattoos, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tweek-centric, Underage Drinking, Updated regularly, coffee shop AU, gay - Freeform, implied/referenced previous drug abuse, mention of previous self-harm, oof - Freeform, this ones darker, what
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-07 01:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13424280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tweek buys a relationship advice book and trash ensues





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Coffee, blondes, and bets](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12839514) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> This first chapter has a lot of plot for only 1445 words...

“Happy birthday, Craig,” Tweek nuzzled his sleepy boyfriend.

“Don’t you have a class now?”

“Yea, I’m going to be a little late today,”

“Go to class,”

“Uggghhhh,”

“I love you,”

“I love you, too,”

Craig placed a soft kiss on Tweek’s chapped lips, before rolling over, covering himself back under the warm blankets. Tweek snickered and headed off to the business hall with a spring in his step.

.

“You can watch an episode of spongebob and repeat everything word from word but god forbid you remembered something relevant,” Token argued.

“Not my fault; spongebob is interesting!” Clyde defended.

“You two are absolutely retarded,” Craig rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, gay boy,” Clyde says snidely.

“Whatever, virgin,” the noiret retorts.

Ah yes, what a wonderful way to spend a morning..

 

After they all calm down, Craig’s roommates wish him a happy birthday and send him on his way.

Another day, another emotional issue that will take countless years of therapy to get over.

Just the way he liked it.

 

.

 

“I dunno, man, I’m just nervous, I guess. I don’t want to fuck it up!” Tweek expressed his concern to the redhead.

She chewed her gum, pondering for a moment, “Then go get a relationship book-thingy,” she shrugs.

“What?”

“You know, one of those books that talks about how to love your partner n shit. My parents used them a lot, they didn’t really help them though..” she trails off, thinking that maybe that wasn’t the resolution to his problem..

“That doesn’t help..”

“Just go to Barnes and Nobel and go to the self-help section, there’s plenty of relationship books there,” she shrugged, popping her bubble gum loudly.

“Hnnggnfmgnggn,”

“Dude,”

“What?” his voice strains.

“You’re doing that thing again, the weird thing,”

“Hng, sorry,” He tugs his hair, he hadn’t done that much since he met Craig..

“Well, I’ve got to go to class, bye, dude,” she waves.

“Bye, Red!”

 

.

 

His classes end at 1:30 and he rushed out to the Café.

He followed his usual routine, putting on his purple apron, tugging his hair once or twice, cleaning off the front counter, grinding up coffee beans, checking stock, all of it.

Kyle and Stan soon scurried in just before 2, putting on their aprons and getting started.

Tweek unlocked the doors as the clock struck 2.

“Okay guys, the newbie will be here any minute, They don’t really talk much, so don’t let that bother you,” Tweek explained.

“Oh yea, I forgot about that,” Kyle shrugged.

“Their name’s Dakota, just so you know,”

“Noted,” Stan mumbled.

.

The door opened softly, as a boy wearing purple jeans, a light gray beanie, which covered soft brown hair, and a Fall Out Boy M A N I A  tee shirt that was far too large for Their small stature.

After Tweek introduced Them to everyone, he showed the brunette what to do for today. Since They don’t really talk much, they can’t work the register. The blonde’s solution to this problem is to have Dakota (Or Kota for short) take inventory and work a little more behind the scenes, checking the oven and helping Kyle or Stan make pastries.

 Work went by rather fast, and before he knew it, Craig opened the door, smiling softly at his boyfriend behind the counter.

“Hey!” Tweek smiled.

“Hey, sweetheart,” the noiret grinned.

“Here’s your coffee,” Tweek handed the tall boy the pre-made drink. Craig thanked him and sauntered over to his usual table. He pulled out his laptop and opened one of his mysterious space textbooks.

Tweek watches the boy type away, noting the way he furrowed his brows in concentration.

Time continues to tick by, making coffee and giggling along with Stan and Kyle.

The aura of the room changes from warm and friendly to cool and tired. Half the lights are turned off, no more wonderful warm smells of pastries or coffee, tables empty, chatter silenced. Front door locked as the four boys cleaned. Craig typed away carelessly as Stan and Kyle wished Tweek and Dakota goodbye as they slipped out the door, out into the frigid cold January night.

Dakota wished Tweek a silent goodbye, stumbling out into the night soon after.

“Craig~” Tweek jingled as he walked up to the studying boy. “Time to go,”

“Mhm, what do you want to do?” he asked as he powered down his laptop and shoved his things in his bag.

“Uhm, I was thinking we could go to Barnes and Nobel,”

“Oh, sure, honey,” he exhaled as he stood up, bag in tow.

They trudged out into the snowy landscape, catching a bus as opposed to walking all the way across the city.

The bus was crowded, and a lump in the back of the blonde’s throat threatened him, making him hyper-aware of his surroundings, noticing and panicking over every sniff and every shift in someone’s stance. Craig’s arm snaked around Tweek’s shoulder, providing him with a decent bit of comfort.

Arriving hand-in-hand to the bookstore, Craig let’s Tweek go explore, and he does the same, wandering off somewhere.

Tweek makes a beeline for the self-help section, looking over lots of different books. Books about eating right, books about coping with depression, blah blah blah, but as soon as his sea-green eyes fell on the word “Relationship” his posture perked, looking over the many relationship advice books.

He chewed his nails as he scanned the shelves, comparing blurbs and eventually deciding on “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

Tweek scurried to check-out, concealing the book in a plastic bag before wandering around looking for the noiret.

Craig catches the blonde’s eye and smiles, “You ready to go, honey?” the way he says ‘honey’ with his nasally voice makes it hard for Tweek not to smile.

“Yea,” he says softly, raising the bag slightly to show he already paid.

“Oh, I could’ve paid for it,”

“No it’s okay, I spaced out and forgot we came together,” Tweek lies, looking off to the side. “Find anything good?”

“Naw, too smutty, too time travel-y, too farfetched, nothing that peaks my interest,” he shrugs, snaking his arm around the short boy’s waist as the two stroll out- er- rather, Craig strolls out, Tweek totters out.

They walk towards the bus station when it hits him- It’s Craig’s birthday.

“OH MY GOD YOU LET ME FORGET ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY,” Tweek screamed.

“Honey, it’s fine,”

“BUT I DIDN’T GET YOU ANYTHING!”

“Babe,”

“AGH! I SHOULD’VE REMEMBERED, I’M A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND, YOU SHOULD JUST ACK- BREAK UP WITH ME NOW BEFORE I DISAPPOINT YOU EVEN MORE!” Tweek continues, overthinking the situation as always.

“Babe,” Craig says more assertively this time, grabbing the attention of the now pacing Tweek, who tugs his hair mercilessly.

“Chéri, I didn’t want anything,” he smiles at the boy, grabbing his wrists, and intertwining his fingers with Tweek’s small piano fingers.

“BUT-“

“You’re all I could want,” he squeezes the blonde’s hands.

Tweek went wide eyed, blushing, eyes darting all around Craig’s face, as if looking for a sign that he was lying. “I-I,” he swallowed hard, his throat went dry.

“Sweetheart, don’t worry about physical objects, they’re of little value, just give me your affection, that’s all I want,” he beseeches.

With a sudden burst of confidence that he would usually curse himself for, he pulls Craig into a soft kiss, wrapping his arms around Craig’s torso.

The noiret melts into the kiss, god, he loves this boy so much. His hands tentatively tangle into the shorter boy’s hair.

Tweek pulls away, with his heart in his throat as he second guesses his action before examining his boyfriend.

Craig just stands there, in awe, grinning ear-to-ear like a dork, with rosy cheeks and a dazed look, stars in his cerulean eyes.

Tweek takes a deep breath and shoves the darker thoughts, this time his boldness had a positive outcome. “Let’s go home,” he grabs the taller boy’s hand, and the two saunter to the bus stop.

 

.

 

They crawl into Craig’s apartment a little after 11, lights off and no one awake.

They tip-toe to his room and Craig trudges over to the comfort of his bed, shedding his coat and hat, and dropping his bag at the end of the bed. He pulls off his black shirt with “PANIC! AT THE DISCO” written in a florescent-light fashion.

Tweek pulls off his sweater, and carefully unbuttons his green plaid shirt, not wanting to ruin it, and crawls into bed, curling up into Craig.

“Happy Birthday, Craig,”

“Goodnight, love,” he mumbles.

Tweek nuzzles into the crook of the noiret’s neck. Soon enough, they’re both snoring softly in the darkness of Craig’s messy bedroom.


	2. Footnote | Stress/Stress Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now I’m all soft,”
> 
> “And you smell absolutely delectable,”
> 
> “Uhm,”
> 
> “Oh shut up, don’t make it weird,”
> 
> “You made it weird, sweetheart,”
> 
> “Dammit,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH UPLOADING A CHAPTER BEFORE 8PM???? IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK!
> 
> Sorry I didn't upload on Tuesday, I was overall dissatisfied with the chapter and I had T W O really important tests that I B A R E L Y passed  
> I was so fuckign stressed I wanted to write fluff instead of get to the actual plot oops
> 
> ANNNYYYWAY  
> Angst and Fluff
> 
> Depression, Paranoia, Anxiety attacks!!! MENTION OF PREVIOUS SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHT!!!  
> BE SAFE! <3
> 
> ~Fluff~

“I.. I don’t know.. it’s just.. ack! I don’t know!” Tweek desperately tries to explain to a rather worried looking noiret.

“Babe, are you okay?”

“I don’t know!”

“Hey, calm down, it’s alright, let’s get out of here,” he holds the blonde’s shaking shoulder as he pushes the two out of the cafeteria.

They walked in silence for a while before Craig sat them both down on a bench.

Tweek looked away, avoiding confrontation until the knot in his throat subsided.

“Craig?” his voice was hardly above a whisper.

“Yea?”

“I forgot to take my meds,” his voice quivered, feeling ashamed.

“Oh, honey,” He held the blonde close, comforting him.

“It.. It never happens! I always take it! I.. I just forgot..”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. What do you usually do around now?”

“Go to work..”

“Are you up for it, or do you want to go home? Because I’m sure the boys can handle themselves,”

“I wanna work,”

“Okay, but I’m going to be right here beside you the whole time, okay?”

“Okay,” his voice faltered as he comfortably nestled into Craig’s arm.

.

Kyle didn’t need any more than to glance at the blonde before he knew what was up. He gave Stan a warning glance as the two walked in, and went about their usual routine.

 

“Don’t you have class?” Tweek twiddled his fingers.

“Yea, I can miss it,”

“B-but you’re wasting you-“

“Babe.” He said sternly, “It’s fine,”

“Mnnnnnnmnnngghhn,”

The blonde couldn’t help but feel stupid. He was an adult, goddammit, and Craig has important classes that he’s missing! Just because he couldn’t handle himself like a grown-up.

No matter how much Tweek insisted that he was fine, the noiret persisted.

It was around 5 that the blonde could no longer handle it, and needed to sit down for a while.

The two sat at Craig’s usual table, Craig tightly squeezing Tweek’s hands over the table. Tweek bit at his lip and twitched uncontrollably. He kept glancing around, as if someone was here to murder him.

Tweek had been in a much better place for such a long time that he had forgotten what it felt like to feel trapped and paranoid all the time.

His throat constricted, tears welled up in his eyes, he gnawed on his lip like there was no tomorrow, and he wasn’t sure if he would scream or puke.

Either way, he wanted to have a violent fit, tossing himself on the floor, kicking and screaming like his mom told him he couldn’t get the toy he wanted, only more violent.

He absolutely hated this.

It was such a disgusting feeling.

He would never say he wanted to die, but he did want to curl up in a ball and not exist for a while.

The tight grip that held Tweek’s hands down was the only thing keeping him from ripping out his hair, though he wanted to do it so bad. It was such a bad habit he adopted. That turned into rubber bands on the wrist, which would leave nasty bruises, which, in his state of mental instability back then, he had liked it. Rubber bands turned into razors and I think you get the point.

Once he had gotten out of rehab (though he hated calling it that), he and his psychiatrist were experimenting with what medications would work best for him. Most of them weren’t terrible, they just didn’t fit well; unfortunately, one of them gave him a nasty panic attack that put him in urgent care. He remembered the strange sensation of not feeling paranoid but still being extremely anxious. He recalled biting his arms for stress relief, another bad habit he picked up.

Of course, he was in a much more stable place now, on good meds, good dosages, went to the therapist twice a month, and held phone conversations with his therapist.

But even with all of the progress he’d made over the years, this felt like a disgusting blast from the past. It felt like some sick joke. He hated it.

Around 5:30, Craig came to the consensus that Tweek was not fit to stay here any longer, and after conferring with Stan and Kyle, Craig dragged out a rather jittery Tweek.

“Call if you need anything,” Craig chimed.

“I think we can handle it,” Stan smirked.

.

Tweek found himself lying against Craig on the sofa, watching one of the Jesse Stone movies.

It was quiet, and seemed like Kenny and Butters must’ve taken Karen out somewhere.

“You alive again?” Craig asked, eying the smaller boy.

“I..Y-yea,” he nodded.

“Are you okay?”

“I..yea,”

“Don’t lie to me, baby,” he said softly.

“I’m usually better about taking my meds, I’m sorry,” his voice broke.

“Sweetheart, no ones perfect. It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything is okay,”

Tweek didn’t know how he could do it, but Craig could just calm him down, and make him feel so safe and welcome. It was so appreciated, though he couldn’t really express that now.

“Craig?”

“Yea, babe?”

Why are you so good at this?

Why do you love me?

Why do you take the time to put up with my bullshit?

I’m sorry I’m so stupid.

“Thank you,”

“No problem, honey,”

Tweek shifted, curling up against Craig’s chest.

Craig felt so cozy and comfy. It was so wonderful. Tweek felt so loved.

The noiret ran his hand through messy blonde hair as he watched the Jesse Stone movie.

Eventually, Craig glanced to the blonde curled up against him, who clung to Craig’s shirt, knuckles turning white from how tightly he was squeezing them.

“Babe..”

No response.

“Babe,”

Tweek just clung to him.

“Tweek,”

“Hng?”

“Babe what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,”

“Why are you clinging to me like you’re about to fall off a cliff?”

“Um,” he swallowed.

“Sweetheart..”

Tears welled up in his eyes, “I-I-I don’t know!” he stammered, hot tears spilling.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s alright,” he wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, comforting him the best he could.

The blonde sobbed into the crook of Craig’s neck, legs wrapped around the noiret’s waist.

Craig gathered his strength and carried the small boy to his room, gently laying him down on the bed. He crawled up onto the bed, cradling the blonde in the darkness of his bedroom.

“Craig?” Tweek hiccupped softly.

“Yea, babe?”

“I love you so much,” he mumbles.

“I love you, too,”

.

Tweek felt so small.

He lay on Craig’s chest, feeling it rise and fall softly, nuzzling into the crook of the noiret’s neck.

The blonde enjoyed having his hair pet, and Craig seemed to be doing it compulsively at this point.

No matter, it was relaxing.

Tweek didn’t really know what time it was, or if the world was ending and he didn’t even know it, but with Craig there, he didn’t worry.

He matched his breathing with Craig’s and paid attention to his sense of touch.

The dark room felt warm for once, and it was rather exhausting. He felt himself slowly succumb to the urge of sleep.

Craig smiled, relieved that Tweek was calmed down and peacefully sleeping.

In this moment, he cherished the small blonde.

He bubbled this memory away and closed his eyes.

 

 

.

 

 

“It’s not a big deal, honey. I’ll be fine,”

“No, you’re freaking out about it, you need to relax,”

“I am relaxed,”

“You’re pacing,”

Craig stopped and looked at what he was doing, “Oh,”

“Now c’mon, I have fancy candles and nice lotion,”

“Ugh, fine,”

.

“Hercules?” Craig inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Grossly underrated classic,” Tweek chirped as he rummaged through his closet.

“I’m not a damn baby,”

“I know,” he sighed, turning to look at the pouting noiret, “Being an adult is hard work, and everyone deserves a break,”

Craig wanted to argue, but Tweek’s tone was so sincere and worried, so he just shifted angrily and watched the movie.

“I found the candles~” Tweek chirped, emerging from his messy closet.

He crawled up onto his bed and got cozy next to Craig, who seemed to be rather immersed in the movie.

He lit two candles, one warm, rich, French vanilla, one sweet, berry mix. They both smelled really nice.

Tweek rubbed lavender lotion on Craig’s arms, making them feel soft and smell delightful.

“Take off your shirt,”

“What,” Craig said completely blankly, blinking at Tweek.

“So I can smother you in lavender wonderfulness! Don’t make this weird!” the blonde huffed. It wasn’t a sexual request. Not at all. But it sure sounded like it and now Tweek was embarrassed. Oh dear.

The noiret snickered, “You’re adorable,” he pulled off his oversized grey NASA shirt and threw it playfully at Tweek’s face. After receiving a death glare, he put his arms up in surrender, giggling lightly.

The lotion was warm, suggesting that Tweek really knew what he was doing, which was correct. He had been fucking around with lotion and essential oils and such ever since Red gave him some for Christmas last year. He’d gotten pretty fucking good at this. He was just relieved that it wouldn’t be useless, and that he’d get to spoil the noiret all he wanted.

.

“Now I’m all soft,”

“And you smell absolutely delectable,”

“Uhm,”

“Oh shut up, don’t make it weird,”

“You made it weird, sweetheart,”

“Dammit,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahahahaha  
> 1551 words B^))))
> 
> comments and kudos are wonderful!!!!  
> <33333333333


	3. Authors Note oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read, y'all

Hey guys!

Just want to say a few things!!

 

Firstly, thank you guys so so much for all the support on _Coffee, Blondes, and Bets_ , As well as this.

Secondly, as some of you may be aware, my update schedule on this has been..not ideal, and I need to explain.

 

With _Coffee, Blondes, and Bets_ I got a little carried away and forced myself into a vicious cycle of writing something that I wasn't super proud of and uploading it because I had forced myself to upload THREE TIMES A WEEK, which left me with no extra free time. Between that and me setting myself up to fail school, I dug myself into a fucking trench, a deep one, and I couldn't get myself out. I pushed through it, and you guys supported me to the end, and I thank you for that.

I definitely want to continue writing this story, but I also have begun to figure out an ending. Every good story has an ending.

I think I want to finish this story before summer starts, even though that may seem far away right now when school started back in Fall 2017 we all thought Christmas was so far away, and here we are now. Time is passing rather quickly, at least from my perspective.

I want to redo _Coffee, Blondes, and Bets_ over the summer, because I see so much more potential in it that I just wasn't able to go over back then. I also believe that means I will find it necessary to redo this fanfiction as well. Maybe this one will turn out better than the last, I'm not completely sure yet.

 

In order to make this story as good as it can be, and better than the last, I need to take a brief hiatus. For mental health reasons, mostly.

I just have so much more on my mind, and I really need to focus on making sure I don't fuck myself over this semester. Writing _Coffee, Blondes, and Bets_ three times a week left me without any spare time to write anything else, and I found myself staying up all night just to upload a chapter I was less than proud of. I might upload a chapter of this here and there, and maybe a few one-shots, but for the most part this account with be going dark for a week or so.

I just really need a break right now, I hope you can understand :'/

I'm super sorry!!!

I really just need to take a break before I can even think about getting back to this. I want this story to be much more thought out, with a fluid story, and better pacing. I just need some time to recollect.

I hope this hiatus to be short, and for myself to return with more energy and ideas.

Feel free to contact me whenever (I promise I don't bite! :D)

Email: krudd2000@gmail.com

Instagram: ruby_rudd

Twitter: Ruby_Can_See_You

Google Plus: krudd2000@gmail.com (Ruby "Alien" Rudd)

Phone Number (I don't answer random phone calls): +1 206-327-7246

 

I hope y'all can forgive me and contact me!! I love talking to you guys!!! <33333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soz I just really need this

**Author's Note:**

> Updates every Tuesday and Thursday


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